Editor’s note: This is a reprint of a column originally published in 2019.
My clients come to me because they want to change something: their job outlook, their career, their salary, their lifestyle. But even when we seek change, the process rarely goes smoothly.
We think change starts at the beginning, but according to William Bridges, author of Transitions: Making Sense of Life’s Changes, change starts at the end. We make decisions that change the world. Otherwise, something will happen and life as we know it will end (think COVID-19). Ready or not, we suddenly move from complacency into a period of transition where time seems to stand still and chaos swirls around us.
Many of my clients are excited to see the end in the rearview mirror, while others who were forced to make changes lament that they no longer exist. Their companies leave town, their jobs become redundant, and their skills are no longer needed. Never mind that the handwriting on the wall is 10 feet tall. I can’t fully understand what happened.
Regardless of how you get there, Bridges said, change requires going through an uneasy transition period. A place where no one wants to spend time. Those who have made a conscious decision to go down a new path are frustrated with being stuck here and wondering why everything is taking so long. On the other hand, those caught up in the change are stuck mourning the past. They want to turn back time and cling to the false hope that this terrible wrong will be righted and things will return to the way they were.
This fallow season is full of chaos and anxiety, but it’s also a time of creativity. Although it may seem like nothing is happening, we are actually internalizing important insights that will help us move forward.
Unlike a concrete ending or an uncomfortably endless transition period, the third phase has no time limit and no clear event that we expect. This is what we think. “Oh, I got a new job. This is the new beginning I’ve been waiting for.” Actually, getting a new job is not a new beginning. Too much still uncertain. While I’m excited and relieved about my new job, I’m still finalizing the details. “How can I fit in here? Is this the right place for me? Will I be able to navigate the politics of this new company?”
Bridges said new beginnings are subtle. It sneaks up on us and usually arrives with little fanfare. It could be something as simple as realizing after six months on the job that you’ve overcome a difficult situation and passed some sort of unspoken test. We experience an “aha” moment and find ourselves in our place again.
If you are in a transition period, be brave. It’s a time to appreciate fallow time in its truest sense, to regroup, catch your breath, and prepare for a new beginning.
Career expert and strategist Mary Jeanne Vincent coaches in Monterey. Contact her at (831) 657-9151, mjv@careercoachmjv.com or www.careercoachmonterey.com.
