Dear Eric: I have a brother who is very focused on eating healthy, exercising regularly, and keeping his BMI within a very narrow (below normal) range. She has always had the financial support to easily afford this lifestyle.
She also has a flimsy disdain for people whose dietary choices and exercise habits are less pure than what she considers healthy. At family gatherings, large and small, she notices who went back for seconds and who ate how many desserts. And make a “joke” about it (not at the other person/at the culprit).
I find this attitude and joke not only offensive, but also unedifying and embarrassing.
But I’m not sure what to say to counteract that attitude. What do you think?
– food for thought
Dear All: How boring is her life to entertain herself by watching other people eat? This kind of mockery may feel good in the moment, but it’s empty and full of miserable calories. Hi.
These kinds of comments are often rooted in the person’s own insecurities, so there’s probably little you can do to get your sibling to stop making them. It may sound like a feeling of superiority or an honest concern for the well-being of others, but if she truly feels superior, she shouldn’t have to make a big deal of it.
Next time something like this happens, point it out like this: If you’re really worried about that relative, you can say something kind and personal, but these jokes ruin the time we have together. You’ll have more fun if you keep your opinions about other people’s bodies to yourself and focus on your plate. ”
(Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for the weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.)
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