I sometimes enjoy watching social media videos of fights between fans at sports stadiums. Now that my martial arts career is over, I won’t be appearing in these videos, but I think I should pass on this nugget of information I learned from these videos.
The person sitting in the highest numbered row almost always wins. Things go awry when you have to go up to hit a guy. The moral of this story is to always choose the lower ranked opponent. It seems obvious, but things like this keep happening, so I’m trying to do my part for humanity.
My overall match record for my career is 1 win, 4 losses, and 1 draw. Not great, considering that his “career” lasted from age 8 to age 30. My record began in 1974 when I scored a draw at Plattsburgh City Park. That’s when Rob Dunn’s mother took him to the park to fight me. I ended my career in the late ’90s by winning a drunken wrestling match with a 65-year-old man. Mind you, his mother wasn’t there.
In between those two, I basically tried to get over the loss. After my senior year of high school, I volunteered to coach the T-ball team with another friend who graduated that year. We had an argument, probably over team management, and about a week before I left as a Marine, he punched me in the nose with his forehead. My nose could attest to his eligibility to represent the United States. It was always comforting to know that he was protecting us after that.
I don’t think mothers will drop their kids in city parks anymore to fight with another child. Those were the days. Why didn’t my mother go to fight with my mother? Seems like an appropriate response, but I don’t remember any such support.
Let’s start with nostalgia. Mr. Foley said he decided to observe the harvest at my suggestion. I’m just here on this earth to counsel older men who are nearing old age, and I agree with that. Please call if you need tips. Anyway, this week I participated in a harvest observation in Platte and Clinton counties. Early morning and evening are prime times. You have to ride on deep gravel to fully appreciate it.
Also note that you have never really lived until you came across a combine harvester on Highway H coming out of Weston. If you can sail safely, you’ll feel like you’ve bought yourself a few more days on Earth. There are also skills to watch over the harvest and stay out of the way. Don’t be a “harvest punk” and get in the way.
I think I used to take T-ball seriously. Do people still fight over who is the leadoff hitter for a 5-year-old? Probably not, but in my opinion the most important thing is to keep slow kids out of the first three slots. If you don’t, you’ll pass them on base when the No. 4 batter hits a hit over the infield.
I can say I was keeping score at the time, but I probably wasn’t too focused on my volunteer responsibilities that summer, as the team and their respective parents also went to the wrong town for a game. .
(Guy Specman organizes gravel road harvest tours)
