Instagram makes me feel like a fake
Dear Remy
Do you think it’s possible to become famous without being chronically online these days?
I love being a singer-songwriter, but I feel guilty when I look at social media. I have a social media manager who replies to fans in my “voice,” but it’s not me, it’s a digital ghost. People think I’m replying, but I’m actually a 20-year-old man who handles five other accounts. It feels like a lie.
Sarcasm? My next album is all about being true to myself. If you are not telling the truth in even the smallest of interactions, how can you get it out? Is this the current situation or is there another way?
your,
connection and repentance
Dear Connections and Repents
Social media has certainly changed the way we connect with our audiences. Reconciling the pressure to be available 24/7 with the desire to remain authentic can be difficult. But let’s think about this. Do you need to respond to every comment for your art to be meaningful?
It is possible to interact with fans without being tied to a mobile phone. Focus on moments that feel authentic, such as carefully curated responses or occasional direct interactions. You don’t have to respond to every message to see it authentically. And mastering the perfect emoji won’t help you write better songs.
The key is balance. Your fans follow you for your music, not your comment section. Stay true to the album’s message and make sure your online presence feels like an extension of it, rather than a contradiction.
As real as the lyrics, let the bots be present 24/7.
Remy
Illustration: Russ Tudor
Help! I can’t stop saying “yes”!
Dear Remy
I have appeared on a major TV program that focuses on improvisation, and I feel very lucky to have this job. My brothers all work in real estate, so I consider myself lucky that I didn’t have to sell a condo that had a dry, rotting bathtub that doubled as a reading nook.
But Lemmy, I think improvisation might be a disease. The more I did it, the more the concept of “YES AND” became ingrained into my core. You know what I mean. The idea is that improvisers must always say yes to ideas thrown at them in order to keep the scene flowing. I think this is why improvisers are seen as overly positive people and are not often invited to dinner parties.
“YES AND” permeates my daily life. I found myself agreeing with everything. A road trip through Appalachia in a friend’s Ford Transit that you watched so many TikTok vanlife videos that you turned it into a home? “Yes, I’ll bring snacks too.” Double date with a MAGA slut? “Yes, I’ll be in charge of the first round.” Guest appearance at your friend’s new Maine Coon’s baby shower? “Okay, let’s sing ‘Isn’t She Lovely’ by Stevie Wonder.”
It’s a habit I can’t break. Many times I come across situations where I’m not “me” and I don’t know how I got there. The other day, a friend asked me to buff his car. Suffice to say their car was shiny and I was tired. I can’t wait to take a nap.
Your obsessive compatibility,
Too good, no
Dear Too Good to No,
It seems like “YES AND” is taking up more space in your life than it should. It’s a great tool on stage, but it can be exhausting in your personal life. Have you ever considered that saying “no” may itself be a form of improvisation? Saying no to something can open up new possibilities that are just as creative but less exhausting. .
It’s often said that saying yes to everything opens the door to adventure, but no matter what productivity podcasts say, there are only so many hours in the day. Use it sparingly, not recklessly. Think of your schedule as a carefully curated Pinterest board rather than an overflowing bulletin board in a fractal house.
What if we started replacing some “yes” moments with “no, but…” so we don’t miss out on opportunities while still taking the time for ourselves that all performers need? . Improving is meant to boost your creativity, not drain your energy. Maybe the next scene you need to build is the one where you finally take a nap.
Be spontaneous but leave room to breathe.
Remy
I cast my friends’ kids and now they hate me
Dear Remy
A strange side effect of working on reality television for the past 25 years is that we seem to have lost touch with actual reality.
I’m currently directing a new on-the-wall series that focuses on families with unruly children. Think Supernanny US meets the Kardashians. However, your fake tan budget will be smaller. We are deeply involved in casting, and as hands-on executives, we are always on the lookout to find the perfect family.
So when I was invited to a friend’s house for a dinner party, I was incredibly happy. Their two children, ages 7 and 11, are like the offspring of Satan. During cocktail hour, the youngest injured a caterer with his Tonka truck. By dessert, the eldest son had fat-humiliated the two guests, and they both began an obscene reenactment of Yellow Jacket.
At the end of the night, I pulled my friend aside and asked her if she wanted to be on the show. they were frustrated. Apparently, they don’t think their kids are unruly, much less worthy of a show about misbehaving kids. They have not contacted me since, even though I sent an apology bouquet.
I realize now that I got so excited that I forgot they were real people (like they’re on the other side of a filter, depending on the amount of Botox they’ve had). (often visible). How can we repair the damage and maintain a healthier distance between work and personal life?
unfortunately,
I need a reality check
Dear I need a reality check,
It’s easy to see how you were hooked at that moment. If you work in an industry with a lot of drama, it can seem like every chaotic dinner party is minting money. However, your friend probably felt blindsided and perhaps embarrassed by the idea that their children should appear on a reality show. They probably imagine their children becoming doctors, or worse, presidents.
How can we reconnect with them on a human level? Perhaps start with a heartfelt apology that doesn’t involve flowers or food. Just a genuine conversation can explain your excitement and reassure them that your friendship is more important than the next casting decision. Can you recall some of the better times we spent together, especially with our children? Can you recall that moment?
If that doesn’t work, try a different approach. Their little ones obviously have talk and energy. Perhaps they will appreciate your guidance in developing their creative tendencies. Flattery goes everywhere. Perhaps you can help them find a drama class or script to focus their energy on. Just guide them away from Goa. Less yellow jackets, more big birds.
As for the future, remember that not all real-life scenarios are made-for-TV. Let’s be human first. Just because someone’s life is “shown on TV” doesn’t mean they want to turn it into a movie.
Try your best to get back on your friend’s good side.
Remy
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Remy Blumenfeld is a veteran television producer and founder of Vitality Guru, which provides business and career coaching to top talent in the media industry. Please send your queries to guru@vitality.guru.
Question edited by Sarah Mills.
