Since then, I’d dreamed of one day traveling the world and writing. My husband had no interest in that kind of life, so I thought it was just a fantasy. That all changed when we decided to divorce.
I’m taking the first step toward making that dream a reality: traveling to Portugal at the end of September after being accepted for a two-month artist-in-residence program. But at 57, I worry I’ve waited too long, and leaving my daughter behind is harder than I thought it would be.
My daughter and I moved to New York City together.
My youngest daughter had always dreamed of a career in acting in New York and was adamant that New York was the only place she could pursue her dreams. In 2002, I asked her if she would be willing to move there with me to help her kick-start her career. I thought it would be the last thing I would do before becoming a digital nomad abroad.
She agreed, and we made plans to move together to the bright lights of a big city. Once there, she threw herself into auditions, applications, and productions, while I was engrossed in planning the rest of my life as a digital nomad. I envisioned her receiving accolades on the red carpet the night before I departed for parts unknown.
Two years later, her dream hasn’t come true and she’s still searching for her big break. When I realized she still wasn’t where she wanted to be professionally, I considered staying in New York longer to help her out more, and I also considered putting off my own travel dreams even further.
But I’m impatient to start traveling because I’m 57 and have a chronic illness. I already know that my age won’t allow me to do all the traveling I’d envisioned. For health reasons, I need to take it slow and be selective.
You can’t waste any more time waiting for the right time to become a digital nomad.
Despite my lack of success, I am leaving my daughter behind.
My daughter supported my decision to leave New York. She rented an apartment with a friend in Brooklyn and has already started living without me.
My biggest worry is that if she or my older daughter need me urgently, I will be out there with no way to get back here quickly.
Maybe if my youngest daughter falls, I won’t be there to pick her up. But I tell myself that she’s not really alone, that she has friends and big dreams. To be honest, I’m the one who’ll be alone. That’s probably what scares me the most.
During those two years as we planned our respective adventures, sometimes I had to be there, sometimes I wanted to go alone. All the while, I was keenly aware of time slipping through my fingers and felt the need to capture every moment. Those moments are now lost forever, but I hope that one day she will see our time together as an important step in her life.
We made progress, and I’m sure she helped me as much as I helped her, and now we’re both trying to conquer the world, geographically separated but always together.
